Secrets of the Heart Read online

  Evelyn leaned her head as she searched deeper for something else. “No, maybe not the horse . . . Oh, I know, the thing I want more than anything else is to get better, not to be in this chair and have to take that yucky medicine. I want to run and play, and I want to go back to school and act normal just like all the other kids.” Her voice lowered to a whisper, “But don’t tell my dad or Miss Watson that or they’ll make me go now.”

  Evelyn’s voice became serious. “I don’t want to—” she hesitated and looked away.

  Heather placed a hand on her arm. “It’s okay, Evelyn. Don’t worry. God will take care of you, and I’m going to do everything in my power to help you get better.

  Evelyn forced a smile on her lips. “I don’t want to live like this. I want a chance to enjoy life.”

  Heather wrapped her arms around Evelyn and gazed with compassion into her eyes. “Evelyn, I am going to be praying for you and for all the things you want and need. If you’re willing to trust God, He has the power to heal you one day. I don’t know what His will is, and I can’t guarantee He’ll grant all your wishes, but if you’re willing to give him your heart, I promise He’ll take care of you.” Heather slowly caressed the girl’s back.

  “God ... I know people who go to church. But I don’t understand what’s so special about being a Christian. Daddy says church is for the weak people who can’t explain the bad things in life. Like what happened with Mommy. What does God want in return?” Evelyn asked curiously.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, when I used to play games at school and I wanted a turn with the ball, I would have to give Corey Adams my cake at lunch. We traded. What does God want from me in return?”

  Heather chuckled at her.

  “Silly, God doesn’t want anything from you other than accepting Jesus into your life. He wants you to love and trust in Him, that’s all.” Heather leaned away from Evelyn.

  “But why would He make me sick then? If He loves me, then why did He take my mommy and let me lose my hair. I’m confused.” She exhaled loudly.

  “You know, Evelyn, I can’t answer your question. I wish I knew the answer. All I know is that God has a reason for allowing you to go through those situations. Sometimes we may never know the reason God allows things to happen. We just have to trust that He has a plan for us and that someday we will understand when the time is right. For now, he just asks that you trust Him.”

  “Daddy doesn’t like to talk about God; I asked him, but he said we don’t believe in him anymore.” A frown formed on her face. “I want to try to understand better, but he doesn’t want me to.”

  Heather knew this was the perfect opportunity to witness to the little girl. It was her chance to plant a seed of hope for the future and life everlasting. Even though she knew Michael wouldn’t approve of her actions, she felt the Holy Spirit convicting her heart to share the Gospel with the girl. Whatever the outcome of her actions, she trusted God to deal with the consequences for her. Heather continued without fear. “Your daddy has gone through some bad experiences, and now he’s mad at God. I’m sorry to say that he did forbid me to mention anything about God to you while I’m on duty.”

  Evelyn thought for a moment. “Well, what if you tell me more about God when you’re not on duty. Maybe on the days when you don’t have to come and give me medicine or help take care of me. Then you’re not breaking the rules because you’re not at work, right?” Evelyn had a mischievous smile on her lips.

  Heather admired Evelyn’s persistence, and she could see how badly the girl wanted to know more about God. She decided that getting fired for witnessing about her faith was a small price to pay for the chance that Evelyn would have a chance at eternal life, a life without pain or disease. Heather decided she was willing to take that chance. She cleared her throat.

  “The first step is to believe in Jesus who died for you and to say the sinner’s prayer and ask God to come into your life.”

  “How do I do that, Heather?”

  “You put your hands together like this,” she demonstrated, “then you just talk to God like He was your best friend. You ask Him to forgive you for the bad things you’ve done and ask him to be a part of your life.” Heather knelt down on her knees. “I’ll lead, and you follow me, okay?”

  Evelyn nodded silently.

  Heather recited the sinner’s prayer from the heart, and Evelyn repeated after her. The prayer brought back a flood of memories from her past, a past that had been filled with anger and hate when she had been mad at the whole world.

  “Do you pray, Heather?” Evelyn asked after they were done with prayer.

  “I pray all the time, Evelyn. In the morning and always at meals. I also say a prayer each night before bed.” Heather patted Evelyn on the arm and gave her a slight squeeze. “There are no rules about how much to pray. You just do it whenever you feel like talking to God. He’s like a good friend who’s always there for you.”

  “Hmm ...” Heather could see Evelyn’s mind churning with questions. She knew the next time they met there would be more questions about the Christian life. She couldn’t help feeling overjoyed at the chance to bring God into Evelyn’s life. Her only fears were whether Michael would intimidate his daughter into denouncing her newfound faith.

  “I’m going to go now before Miss Watson scolds me for keeping you up.” Heather giggled. “I’m going to bed now, and I hope you get some sleep too.” Heather tucked the coverlet around the girl and felt Evelyn reach up and touch her hair.

  Heather gave her a smile. “God will help you get better, and soon we’ll be brushing each other’s hair. Now get some rest.”

  Evelyn smiled as Heather walked out of the room. She felt happy and peaceful inside as if she were floating on a cottony cloud in the sky. It was a feeling she hadn’t experienced in a long time. She didn’t know how to put it into words, but something had changed inside her heart after reciting the sinner’s prayer. Gone were the worries about the future and whether she would be healed. Why would Daddy keep me from such an awesome feeling? Is God actually living inside me? When she heard the click of the door after Heather had gone, she clasped her hands together as Heather had shown her and began to pray out loud.

  “Dear God, I’m real sorry about that time I pushed James Baker in school. He was pushing me first, but I guess I need you to forgive me for it. Also, I didn’t do my math homework that one time, and I told Miss Janey I did. I just forgot all about it ...Then there was that time ...

  Chapter 13

  The days passed into weeks and then into months, and Heather found herself becoming comfortable with the daily routine. She couldn’t remember any other time in her life when she had felt so carefree and happy. If she could have wished for the perfect family, it would have been the Robbins household. Heather seemed to blend harmoniously with their daily life as if she were one of the family, and she hoped her assignment there would never end.

  It wasn’t because she didn’t want Evelyn to get better. God knew better than anyone else how much she desperately wanted Evelyn to be healed of her illness. She couldn’t count the number of hours she had spent on her knees praying for a miracle. It seemed some days Evelyn would get better, feeling as if she were on top of the world. And then there would be minor setbacks where she would be bedridden, feeling as if someone had drained every ounce of blood from her body.

  Crystal Cove had become a second home for Heather, a place she would have given anything to grow up in. She frequently walked around the community to appreciate the custom built architectural wonders the rich called home. She even visited the small chapel she had seen on her way in. Over time, she developed a friendship with Pastor Avery and found the quaint church to be a blessing on her life.

  As for Michael, it seemed he was away on business more often than not, and yesterday marked two weeks since he had been home. It seemed second nature for her to call him Michael. They had grown closer in subtle ways, like good friends who had known each other fo
r years. But he still held her at arm’s length, which suited her just fine. She certainly didn’t need the distraction. She was too afraid of the unknown, of what might happen if they got too close. Afraid what might happen if she gave free reign to her passionate feelings for him.

  Heather shuddered at the thought. No, she couldn’t imagine herself being that vulnerable, completely surrendering her heart and soul for another man to care for. She had tried to divert her attention to Evelyn, to painting, and even reading her Bible. But she found it nearly impossible to keep him out of her mind. It was as if he possessed some magical power, one that she couldn’t resist.

  She had heard him come home late last night and heard the familiar pounding of his footsteps during the dead of night when she had been restless and couldn’t sleep.

  But this Friday was an extra special day. A smile creased Heather’s face. Not only was she ecstatic that he had made it home safely, but it was the weekend they were going to fulfill one of Evelyn’s wishes. For the last two weeks, the girl had talked about nothing other than the trip to Thrill Mountain. Sunday was Evelyn’s birthday, and Michael had suggested the trip weeks in advance to Linda and Heather so they could surprise her at the last minute. Linda thought it was a wonderful idea, and although Heather wanted Evelyn to be happy, she had her reservations. There were a few medical concerns she needed to address with Michael.

  Over the last few weeks, Evelyn’s health had been unstable. But since Michael had made up his mind about the trip weeks ago, there was no turning back. It was the subject of the girl’s conversations throughout most of the day. She would talk about which ride she was going on first and how much fun it would be. Heather didn’t have the heart to discourage her, knowing how much suffering she had already gone through. How could she break the girl’s heart after seeing the enthusiasm on her face last night as she frantically tried to find the perfect outfit to wear?

  Heather’s thoughts returned to her room where she continued sorting the laundry on her bed while Evelyn watched.

  “I can’t believe he said yes, Heather; it’s so exciting, can you believe it!” Evelyn bounced with energy on Heather’s bed.

  “I know it’s going to be a lot of fun for you.” Heather folded towels along the counter of the sink in her room.

  “Will you ride the Razorback coaster with me?”

  “Me?” Heather turned around to glance at her. “I won’t even be there, silly.” She turned to reorganize the stack of towels that began toppling over.

  Evelyn giggled. “Yes you will, silly; you have to go with us. Who’s going to take care of me when I feel sick? Daddy doesn’t know how to do everything, and plus, he’s a guy.”

  Heather chuckled. “I think this is a trip Daddy wanted to do with just the two of you, Evelyn. I don’t think it’s such a good idea for me to invite myself. Maybe the next time you go, we can plan it.” Heather began to hum as she continued organizing.

  Nothing more was mentioned about the trip that morning. After lunch, Heather set out for her daily walk among the botanical gardens so she could enjoy the ornate statues and fragrant flowers. A gentle smile spread across her lips as she ran a hand over the bronze one of the boy and the wagon. She thought back about that night in the garden and how Michael had cracked open the door to his heart, and she hoped he had listened to what she had to share with him about God. She continued her walk and came up to a black and white speckled marble bench along the path and sat down to enjoy the beautiful view.

  Her mind drifted over the roller coaster of events that happened throughout her lifetime. From being raised in a tumultuous family to growing up alone without her parents, her childhood was filled with fear and uncertainty. So many of these early events had left a mark upon her life.

  It wasn’t until her friend had led her to the Lord that she regained a new purpose in life and began to walk on a path of healing toward being a healthy and strong woman of God who prayed fervently and kept a positive attitude. A woman who knew there was nothing to fear about the future if she trusted God.

  But in spite of the tremendous healing that had taken place, her fear of intimacy with a man still lurked in the shadows of her heart, like a coyote stalking its prey, waiting for the right moment to attack as soon as a man caught her interest. That was what had happened with Kevin Pierce when she had worked at Harbor Hospital in Los Angeles.

  Her thoughts drifted back to the days of fast-paced action in the ER and the man who had become dear to her heart. The corners of her mouth turned up as she thought about how sweet he was to her and what a close friend he had become. Heather knew without a shadow of doubt that he had fallen in love with her. Why else would the doctor go out of his way to spend time with her and be there for her in her times of need? He had done more than any good friend would have done, sacrificed more than any other Christian man would have done. But what did she repay his unselfish devotion with?

  Nothing.

  She shook her head as the word resounded in her ears like a fingernail on a chalkboard. Heather knew she couldn’t love him without reservation, the way he deserved to be. She knew her fragile heart wasn’t ready, and that any hope of true love would be choked out by her fear of being hurt.

  Heather bit her lower lip as an ache began to form in her heart. She hoped he was happy in life, and that he had found a woman who could love him unconditionally with all her heart. He deserved that much. There had been so many times she wanted to share her true feelings for him, so many times she wanted him to wrap his strong arms around her body and never let go. But nothing could escape the lump that always formed in her throat as if she had a piece of meat lodged in her esophagus. It took every ounce of willpower for her to walk away, to take a temporary leave from Harbor so she could focus on work, God and try to forget about the man who had occupied a place in her heart.

  She remembered the time she had stayed home from work because she was sick with a cold. Weak and unable to cook for herself, Kevin had made a surprise visit after work, bringing her a homemade croissant turkey sandwich and a bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup. It had been one the sweetest things any guy had ever done for her. If she hadn’t accidently thrown up on his scrubs shortly after eating the soup, the evening would have been enjoyable. She laughed out loud as she remembered the look of shock on Kevin’s face as he excused himself to clean up in the bathroom.

  “That must be some memory, Miss Parks for you to smile like that.” The deep voice jolted her back into the present, and Heather shot up from her seat.

  She placed a hand over her chest and gazed at Michael’s face as her cheeks began to warm. “Oh, Michael, you scared me. I didn’t see you walk up.” She gave him a smile of relief. “Yes, I was just thinking about something funny, that’s all. It seems you always catch me when I least expect it.”

  “You know, Heather, I don’t really try to ... it just sort of ... well happens,” Michael said sheepishly as he shrugged his shoulders.

  “If you’re trying to give me a heart attack, you’re doing a great job so far.” She gave him a playful frown.

  “Please don’t say that, Heather. I would never want anything to happen to you.”

  She could see the earnest expression on his face, reminding her of the innocence of a little boy. A part of her heart went out to him, and she couldn’t help feeling drawn to his simple honesty and persistent attention. But instead of letting her feelings take root, Heather did what came so natural for so many years. She shoved her feelings aside and closed the walls to her heart. Instead of responding to his comment, she chose to ignore it and leaned away to smell the lilacs which were in full bloom.

  “I suppose I should get back before Evelyn finishes with her lessons.” She tried to sound convincing, hoping he wouldn’t notice her unsteady voice.

  “I was hoping you would walk with me?” He reached over to touch her arm, and she felt the fire erupt there and race through her body. At that instant, she knew she couldn’t say no. Heather turned and lo
oked directly into his beckoning eyes and couldn’t stop the words that flowed from her lips.

  “Perhaps for a few minutes more.”

  What’s wrong with you. You’re supposed to keep things professional. You’re going to regret this.

  But Heather ignored the voice in her head and followed Michael as if he had hypnotized her.

  They started walking west into a section of the gardens Heather had yet to explore. The section was overgrown and needed tending to. She passed an overgrown rose bush with deep pink flowers cascading wildly from a tall trellis and stepped closer to admire the large blooms. She closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply, letting the light perfume scent carry her to another place in time. The smell reminded her of something Nana would wear. Heather let the air escape from her lungs and opened her eyes. Without thinking, she reached up to grab one of the flowers.

  “Ouch! Stupid thorns.”

  “Are you okay?” Michael reached out for her hand and turned it over to look at the crimson dot that was growing larger on her hand.

  “So she does have a temper,” he said with a grin.

  “I’m afraid you caught me in my weakest moment. Please don’t think any less of me. I really do try to be on my best behavior, especially around Evelyn.”

  “I know you do. I was just giving you a hard time.” Michael reached into his blazer pocket to pull out a handkerchief and pressed it against the red wetness in her palm.

  Heather sucked in a deep breath. The feeling of his strong hands surrounding hers made her knees weaken. Without thinking, she retracted her hand.

  “It’s nothing really, I’m fine.” Her body began to radiate heat like a sauna. “I really should be getting back.”

  “Wait, before you go, I really wanted to get your opinion on this part of the gardens because I’m thinking of redoing them. It used to be Carla’s favorite spot, but they’ve been untended for a long time. Mr. Jacoby can only do so much alone.”