Fall From Grace Read online

  “I’m OK. You scared the living daylights out of me Daddy. Don’t do that again.”

  “I know precious. Hey, you know what? If it‘s any consolation, it scared the dickens out of me too.” She felt his hand as it slid down her hair. She sat there leaning over and wrapped in her father’s arms, thinking of all the times she had done this as a child. Heaving a deep sigh, she stood back and looked down at him with a smile.

  “I want to talk to you and Mom about something.” They looked at her intently in silence, waiting for her to continue. Finally, after a couple of moments she spoke what had been weighing heavily on her mind. “Do you remember the doctor from Rachel’s accident?” At their nods, she went on. She knew her mother probably already knew what she was going to say. “He’s the doctor that saved Dad’s life. I found out some information about him. It seems that he’s blamed himself for not being able to save Rachel and no longer works at the hospital either. There was something about him yesterday. I need to go to him. I thanked him for everything he did for Rachel, but he wouldn’t accept it. I feel God has convicted me to help him find his way again. He has strayed from the path, and I fear for him and his faith. He needs to rekindle the hope of God in his life, and I need to help him find it.”

  Finally finished with her speech, she took a deep breath and looked at both of her parents, her lips pursed together in anticipation as she waited for their response. Her mother grasped both of Stephanie’s hands in her own and smiled at her daughter through her tears.

  “I am so proud of you dear. Not only are you using your faith to help yourself through this devastating tragedy, but you’re also helping him find faith again, as well. You are truly a remarkable woman, my dear.”

  She smiled at her mother through her tears and took a big breath as she looked to her father. “You make us both proud honey. God knows that the best way to heal the hole in your heart is to minister to someone else in need. I know that neither I nor your mother understand what you are going through. I don’t know if I would have survived if something had ever happened to you, but I know many people will be blessed by your unwavering faith in the Almighty.”

  “Thank you, Daddy. I have to go find him now.” She related to her parents the events of the night before and her talk with Susan from the diner. She had spoken to Mr. Sudder, and he had reluctantly given her the address to the place where the doctor was now residing. He had also spoke to her of the troubled aura he received after meeting with the doctor and hoped that her faith in God would help the young man heal.

  As Stephanie drove down the street, she saw the twinkling lights of multiple different colors staring back at her. But her mind wasn’t focused on how festive or pretty they were; instead, she was preparing herself for what she would say when she saw Dr. Pierce face to face. She knew it wasn’t going to be an easy task, and she wanted to get a good night’s rest before she confronted him the next day. When she returned home, she grabbed a scratch pad and pen to write down what to say to him so she wouldn’t forget. She didn’t know where to start, but she knew the Holy Spirit would supply the words she needed to say that would get him back on track and headed in the right direction. By what she had gathered from their previous conversation and judging by the empty look on his face, she could tell he was quickly heading down a path of hopelessness, a path that could likely lead only to one possible outcome. She shuddered at the thought. She needed to find him soon before it was too late.

  As Stephanie pulled into her childhood driveway, a heavy sigh escaped her lips. Her parents’ house appeared cold and gloomy during the holiday season, something her parents would never allow to happen. Every year, her father would make it a tradition to string up the Christmas lights right after Thanksgiving, something she could remember he had done since her childhood. But this year would be different. Her father would be spending the holidays in bed recuperating. This year, it would be up to her and her mother to carry on the family’s traditions.

  Christmas was a very special time for her family, and her parents would always go all out with the decorating. She would help her father hang the lights outside and then she would go inside to help her mom set up the Christmas village and the Nativity scene in the living room. It was a time that brought her joy and happiness.

  Rachel had loved it. It had been her favorite time of year, and she would help her grandmother in the kitchen every year after they decorated. Stephanie laughed when she reminisced about the last Christmas season. Rachel had been the one to make the ham. She had put extra honey on it, telling everyone that it needed to be extra sweet like the cook. She had made the dinner under the watchful eye of her grandmother, who looked over her shoulder and stepped in to help when needed. Stephanie had sat at the table and watched, helping Rachel when needed, which wasn’t often at all. She laughed when she thought of how frantic Rachel had been about the oven, worrying about how to bake the remaining dishes while the ham was in the oven. Her grandmother had chimed in to explain that the ham needed to cool down when it was done and that while it cooled, they could put everything else in. In the end, Rachel had cooked a scrumptious feast. She had made a ham, greens, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans and corn on the cob. She had stood there and smiled as she looked over her table. She had been so proud of herself, and then for dessert, she had made crunch apple pie and chocolate chip cookies. She said that was her gift to her family that year. A good home cooked meal.

  That year was the most memorable, and Rachel had been happy that both her parents and grandparents were there. Stephanie felt there was a tight corset around her chest as she took a deep breath and looked up at the empty house with darkened windows.

  Without a second thought, she marched through the front door and began flipping lights on as she navigated through the house toward the garage. Stacked in one corner were the large plastic containers that held the Christmas decorations. Even though Rachel was celebrating Christmas in heaven, Stephanie knew her daughter would have still wanted her to get a Christmas tree adorned with lights and the whole nine yards, and she was determined to give it to her. Even though she had told Rachel when she was younger that Christmas wasn’t just about the gift giving and the glamor of the decorations, she didn’t want Rachel to be disappointed in her. She knew if Rachel was watching from above that she would be disappointed in her mother. But what her daughter couldn’t understand was the reason why her mother wasn’t celebrating Christmas was because she missed her daughter dearly. But Stephanie had decided to honor Rachel’s memory by giving thanks to Jesus no matter what was going on in her life. She would follow the example she had taught her daughter to do so many times in the past. She would give thanks.

  Stephanie began heaving the holiday containers up and carrying them into the living room. She began going through them one by one and put the ones containing the outside decorations by the front door. Gathering the twenty-foot strand first, she began streaming lights up along the hallway banister. When she had finished, she set the nativity scene and Christmas village up on the wooden coffee table in the living room, just as her mother had always done. As Stephanie began to get into the Christmas spirit, she began to sing as she decorated.

  Several hours later, she collapsed onto the living room sofa with a satisfied but exhausted smile. She looked over at the clock, and her eyes grew wide at the luminous blue numbers. The clock on the cable box blinked saying it was 2:30 in the morning. Rising from the sofa in front of the Christmas village on the coffee table, she locked the front door before making her way to her room. It had been a strenuous day, and there wasn’t an ounce of energy left in her body. Stephanie knew it wouldn’t take her long to fall asleep that night. As she laid on the pillow for the first time since Rachel’s death, she smiled, remembering her daughter and the good times they had shared. Minutes later, she fell to sleep and drifted off to pleasant dreams of her daughter’s smiling face, a welcome relief from the restless nightmares she had suffered since that fateful day
. That night was her first of peace and tranquility as she finally slept through the night.

  Chapter 16

  Stephanie awoke the next morning feeling relaxed and refreshed. She quickly took a shower and blow dried her hair. Pulling on her white jeans and black striped sweater top with brown boots, she made her way downstairs. Her mother was there, and there were tears in her eyes as she stood in front of the Christmas village. She looked up to see Stephanie coming down the stairs.

  “Rachel loved Christmas so much. I just didn’t have the heart to put anything out. Neither did your father. I’m glad you did though. Rachel would be happy and proud of you honey.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I decided Christmas should always be a time of joy, no matter what is happening in our lives. It should be a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus and remember the gift God gave to us. Somehow it doesn’t feel right to let the season pass without getting into the spirit and making it special. I know Rachel would want us to.”

  “You’re right honey. I am going to miss her smiling face in the kitchen helping me cook dinner now that she’s not here anymore.” Tears streamed down her mother’s face as Stephanie made her way over to her. She had seen her mother cry at the funeral, but she had been so caught up in her own grief that she had never thought to ask how her parents were coping. She hugged her mother and felt her arms come around her. Both stood there in peaceful silence holding the other, their hearts warming from the comfort of another who identified with their pain.

  Leaning back, Stephanie looked into her mother’s eyes. “Of course, I’m still here to help you, Mom.” Stephanie wasn’t much of a cook, and she had been overjoyed when she learned that Rachel had her grandmother’s touch in the kitchen. Something Stephanie apparently didn’t inherit from her. She had spent her childhood and adult life helping her father around the house while her mother cooked dinner inside. Rachel had always been the domesticated one, hanging around with grandmother when she cooked in the kitchen. As her daughter got older, she began helping out more until last year when she finally accomplished it all on her own.

  “Really?” Her mother’s eyes had rounded in surprise, and she smiled with joy. “That would be great honey.”

  “I can’t say I’m anything near as good as Rachel was, but I’ll give it my best shot.”

  “You’ll be fine, honey. I will make a cook out of you yet. You watch and see.”

  Stephanie gave her a chuckle. “Before I help you make a disaster of the kitchen, first I want to string all the outside lights in the next couple of days. I’m sure Dad will need a chair out there so he can critique my work. You know how obsessed he is with his lights. Since he can’t go on the roof this year or use the ladder, it looks like I’ll be doing all the work.”

  “I’ll help honey.” Her mother’s hand slid down her forearm and lingered at her wrist.

  “That would be so nice. Maybe it’s a new tradition we can start this year.” She grinned at her mother.

  Her mother’s face creased into a frown. “I don’t know about making it a tradition. I don’t think your dad is going to appreciate stepping into his domain. You know how he likes to feel like he’s running the show with the lights.”

  “I know Mother, but I think it would great bonding time for all of us to do it together.”

  “Honey, I don’t mind helping out this year, but next year . . .” Her mother’s head swayed sideways. “Honey, I’ll give you a little tip if you ever get married again someday. I’ve learned after so many years of marriage that some things in life aren’t worth battling over. And this is one of them. My place is in the kitchen during the holidays, and I’m completely okay with that. Now, I’m going to make a grocery store list while you go see your new friend.”

  “I would hardly call him a friend, Mom. He doesn’t even know me. Not to mention he probably doesn’t even want to see me.”

  “It may not feel right to him right now, but soon that will change. Once he gets to know how genuine and caring you are, he’ll be your friend.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I know you and how persuasive you can be. I also know you’re stubborn and will keep on until you change him for the better. Just trust God with your desires and know that everything will work out for the better. Who knows what might blossom from your friendship.” Her mother gave her a wink. “God always has a plan.”

  “Mother, I think getting involved in a relationship is the last thing Dr. Pierce would be interested in right now. Besides, there’s no way he would be interested in a divorced mother who’s grieving over a lost child when he could have his pick of any beautiful and successful women out there.” She lowered her gaze to the floor.

  “What is this nonsense about other women being more beautiful? My dear, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Your father and I gave birth to a precious little baby girl, who’s now grown up into a beautiful woman. If Dr. Pierce ever decides to date again, he’d be foolish not to notice you.”

  Stephanie smiled and shook her head at the boost of confidence her mother had given. “Thanks for the encouraging words mother. But dating another man right now is the farthest thing from my mind. I want some time to remember Rachel and all the special moments we spent together. Maybe someday, God will bring the right man into my life. But now isn’t the time. If I’m going to date a man, I want to be able to be fully committed to the relationship. I don’t want to go through another disastrous relationship like the one I had with Thomas.” A sigh escaped her lips. “Besides, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already dating someone right now. He’s too eligible and handsome for any sharp woman to pass up.”

  “You’re right honey, we don’t know. I was just doing some wishful thinking.” Her mother smiled. “But your idea of ministering to his needs is a great plan, and I think he’ll really appreciate that.”

  “I sure hope so,” Stephanie said as she gathered her purse and coat from the sofa. “I’ll let you know what happens when I get home.”

  “I’ll be praying for you.”

  “Thanks Mother.”

  Stephanie made her way to her car and soon she was pulling from the driveway and heading toward the coastal side of the small town.

  Minutes later, Stephanie looked up at the large building in silence. She heard the waves from the ocean lap against the large boulders and rocks at the bottom of the cliff below. The building sat only a half mile from the ocean and she tried to imagine the view from one of the windows inside the apartments. She closed her eyes and inhaled the crisp smell of the white sand. The salty sea breeze made her think of days at the beach with Rachel, and she smiled when she thought of her daughter’s chubby little feet peeking out from the sand. Sighing she looked back at the building again and started forward once more.

  The doctor resided in a building that housed a combination of small apartments. There was a total of 12 apartments in the building, although the real estate agent told her that only two of them were occupied. One of them being the doctor. Looking down at the apartment number she had written on the crisp white sheet of paper, she slowly climbed the steps to the second floor. When she arrived in front of the door marked 26B, she took a deep breath. A nervous pulse of energy radiated throughout her body. Would he tell her to go away? Would he welcome her to his home? Her heart began to pound inside her chest as she struggled with what to say to the man. Lord, please give me your wisdom and help me to say the right words that would honor you. Stephanie raised her small fist and knocked softly on the door. She waited a couple minutes without an answer before rapping harder a second time. When there was still no answer, she shook her head and turned around. The voice she heard came from behind her.

  “He’s down by the water ma’am.”

  Turning around, she was confronted by an older gentleman. He had on a hat and white stubble was on his chin as he looked at her sadly.

  “The man who lives there. He goes down to the water’s edge sometimes. If he isn’t in there, then I’m pretty sure
he’s down by the water. He’s kind of a loner and seems like he’s got a lot on his mind.”

  “Yes sir. Thank you.”

  “Are you family?” the man asked, securing the hat to his head as a big gust of wind swept by.

  “No, I’m not. Just a friend.” She smiled at the man.

  “Well, I think he could use a lot more friends like you to come visit him. Seems like he’s been down in the dumps ever since he’s moved into here. I haven’t seen anybody else come by to visit. You must be one of his best friends.”

  “I wouldn’t quite say that, but we’ve spent some time together.” Stephanie wasn’t about to go into the whole tragedy of why she was there and how she already knew the doctor had been depressed.

  “Well, I sure hope you can bring a smile to his face. You can find the stairs to the beach over there.” The man pointed to the metal handrails at the end of the concrete path.

  “That’s what I hope to do. Thanks again for all your help.” She gave the man one last smile before making a beeline down the path.

  “You’re welcome ma’am. Have a good one,” the man shouted after her.

  She walked to the cliff’s edge and finally found the stairway that led down to the beach. She gripped the railing as she took the steps down to the sand. She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she was at the bottom of the stairs and on the beach before she knew it. After searching the entire beach for thirty minutes, she came up without a clue to where he was. The old man had been wrong. Dr. Pierce wasn’t on the beach, at least not at this particular hour. Stephanie finally gave up and started her trek back towards the small stairs.

  As she made her way over the uneven sand, she stopped short at the sight in front of her. In the distance, she could see the outline of a man hunched over at the bottom of the stairs. As she closed the gap between them, she could make out the features of the man’s face.